Loss

Support Circles #captureyourgrief

Day 4

I have been so very fortunate to have so much support. One of my first memories after having the boys was SO many people from our church showing up with gifts and snacks. My best friend was the first one to see our boys besides us (and the nurses and doctors).

So much of that first month is a fog, but I remember I was discharged about the time Zeke had his pulmonary embolism. Everything started looking so bleak and I wasn’t quite functioning. We went home to friends there who had cleaned my house, taken care of our dogs, filled a deep freezer with food, and cooked some for us. I’m not sure I have ever felt so loved. I lost it and my friends held me while I cried.

Not only that, but I was living at the Fisher House by the hospital for the first four weeks. My mom came into town and stayed with me while my in-laws came and stayed at our place to help out. Having the emotional support from family was needed and good.

I swear food is a love language. We had so many people – friends from church, Paul’s work, etc – bringing food. I probably wouldn’t have eaten if it weren’t for them (and I was pumping so food was very needed). I’m so grateful for the support Paul’s work showed him – I needed him by my side and the boys needed him and they made sure that happened.

I had support from friends online. We had people from Paul’s gaming community sending money (much needed for gas driving back and forth to the hospital) and my friends from Instagram sent flowers to Ezekiel’s funeral and gifts. I was amazed at the love and kindness people showed. ❤ I’m not sure words could ever convey enough thanks.

Our church continued to be awesome – we had a full house for Ezekiel’s funeral and you could feel the love. After he passed they continued to pray for Noel and offer us support as we continued our daily treks to the hospital. They threw an awesome shower for Noel and included multiple touches in Zeke’s honor and a few gifts for him (and so many things for Noel – I felt much more prepared after the shower lol)

I’m also in a support group for parents of twinless twins on facebook. I have found a lot of validation here – it’s nice to be able to share with people who understand exactly what you are feeling.

Also, all of our boys’ nurses and doctors. They get it – they are there fighting for your babies with you. The people who cared for our babies are some of the most amazing people I will ever meet. We had some pretty special nurses – you could tell they loved our kids. It made it slightly easier to leave my babies at night knowing they were there. We even had a few come to his funeral. Seeing them there meant so much. I still keep in touch with quite a few of them and so appreciate when they mention Zeke – he is still so loved.

I’ve probably forgotten to mention something, and for that I’m sorry. I just want everyone to know how truly grateful I am and that nothing anyone did for us was taken for granted. ❤

So much love

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One thought on “Support Circles #captureyourgrief

  1. Dear Sarah and Paul,

    We love you and miss you all. Last night at the GBC prayer meeting, we were remembering you and wondering how you are doing. Thank you for writing about Ezekiel and Noel. We won’t forget either one.

    Love to you all.

    Love,
    Rachel Short

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