Loss

Sunrise Dedication #Captureyourgrief

Day 1

Have you ever heard of a sunrise baby?  Most people have heard of rainbow babies (babies who are born after a loss) but have never heard of sunrise and sunset babies. This is the term often given when a parent has multiples (twins, triplets, etc) but loses one or more baby(ies) while other(s) live. The living child is the sunrise while the child who has passed is a sunset. This gives even more meaning to this prompt for me…as I attempt to type, Zeke’s twin brother Noel is doing his best to destroy my kitchen. 😉

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I suppose that is often my struggle, trying to find the balance between my grief for Ezekiel and joy for Noel while not weighing the two emotions against each other.

Also, I’m rarely up for the sunrise these days, and well, even if I were they are hard to capture up here in the pacific northwest. So instead, I’ll just share a picture of a sunrise I painted a few weeks ago.

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The words on it are from one of my favorite worship songs. In fact, we sung this at Zeke’s funeral.

I remember singing this song a few years ago – back when we so desperately wanted to get pregnant and it brought peace then… Now I sing it to remind myself that God is good, He is in control, and He deserves ALL our praise all the time.

“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be His name” {Job 1:21}

I sing it when I feel overwhelmed by life and when I am angry with God (yes, a year and a half later I still have feelings of anger, of unfairness, and frustration)
I sing it when I don’t have the words to praise how I want to.
Mostly though, I sing this song when I think of my little Zeke – I praise God for his life and that I was able to be his mom and for the fact that he knew so much love from so many people in his time here on earth and continued love though he is in heaven. ❤

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One thought on “Sunrise Dedication #Captureyourgrief

  1. My heart hurts for you! Know that you are loved and just think Jesus is playing with zeke?

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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